Welcome to my official blog . You've stuck in my unprivate diary. Be nice here or i call My Prince Charming kill you!. Pardon my words
Now : 9 Little Star[s]
Letter to Mom,DadSomething in my mind told me that...
I literally have no idea what happened to me today. I lost control and mad at people that I shouldn't mad at. They were INNOCENT! It was my fault.
I feel stupid at the moment. What a useless daughter I am. I yelled at my mom's friends just because they planned for a barbeque party. Well I made rude faces. I was so rude!
Is this the side effect for keeping to many things inside me? I kept so many secret from my family. I never tell them why I like those and what I hate in this world. I craved for some love. I'm gonna further my study soon, mom. Will you spend some times with me? I know you have your friends too. I am too have my own friends but I rarely spend time with them because I like to talk to you, I want to share what I feel, I want you to know more about me. Your eldest daughter. I may look strong but I'm not. I'm fragile more that you know. I burst tears easily when things go hard. But I never be able to cry in front of you and dad because I love you. I want you to see how strong your daughter is, but then here I am crying all night long after did a stupid mistake. I am sorry. I really am sorry. I'm such a bad daughter.
It just I want you to get some rest, we had bbq party last two days, so why don't we stop for a while and give times for you to embrace yourself,mom. I knew you did way too many good things for us. I'm sorry for being a burden. I forgot that you can get hurt too. I am sorry. I feel embarrased for doing such thing. I refused to eat, I made fuss over small things when you always understand me. It just that I'm not strong. I'll be gone for 4 years, mom. I might have no time to go back home. It will be different compared to my college days.
Bukan selalu dapat bermanja dengan mak. Adik lahir masa umur saya 4 tahun. Kemain manja lagi dia masa itu. I raised to be strong and now I'm 19 years old. I keep craving for your attention. Ya. Kasih sayang mak memang adil kepada semua anak-anak mak. Anak sulung mak ini aja mengada nak tunjuk kuat padahal air mata sentiasa menemani. I promise you I'll give a better life for us. Give me some more times.
Dad, thanks for be my father. I am proud to have you as my hero. You always managed to get what I needed. I will make you proud to have me too. Thank you for everything. I think I took after you, I really not good in showing my love. Hehe. I did it like once in 10 years maybe.
I am sorry.